Over-thinking and Bar Drawing

I’ve spent a long time with my current work and have had ample amounts of time to question my decisions; why I’m drawn to particular times in history etc etc. I think overthinking has been my biggest vice these past two years. At what point do you start separating personal reasons for decisions in art making? But everyone reacts to things differently; obviously we are drawn to things for particular reasons that’s the beauty of art it’s subjective.

I’ve been encouraged to not stray too far from what I’m doing as well as the opposite. I don’t want to lose the essence of my work and I feel unresolved with the series I was in the middle of working on. There are ideas I wanted to finish exploring that I feel could lead me to something else. However, putting yourself outside of your comfort zone is how you improve. So, because I have all the time in the world, I’ve made the decision to finish my old series at the same time experimenting with everything and anything (but at a smaller scale so I don’t waste too much time). Combining pieces of architecture into one drawing, drawing from a photo and then from memory, drawing whatever comes to mind, covering things with gesso and re-drawing them, sketching things over and over sort of like a Giacometti thing, drawing architecture from life, exaggerating the angle even more, and drawing any ordinary thing are all options for experimenting. In one of my critics the word dramatic was brought up and it isn't the first time I've heard it. I love the drama that the charcoal and white space creates. That's something that I definitely don't want to loose in my work as well as the driving concept of time in relation to the fact that we have to face or own mortality as well as the mortality of our loved ones. 

One thing I’ve wanted to explore for a while is small pencil interiors, sort of what I was doing in undergrad but minus the people. So I’m also starting a series of small pencil drawings working from my usual batch of photos from Europe, but family photos as well, and perhaps life drawings from interiors from spaces around me. Meshing them all together could prove to be really interesting.

I’ve drawn random people from life before a few times. Waiting at the airport is the perfect place to catch unsuspecting figures! It’s extremely hard to capture a person who has no idea you are drawing them as they are constantly moving but they make for interesting drawings with a LOT of energy. It’s even harder to capture people at a busy bar, which is exactly what I did when I was done with work last night. I thought they would be more interesting on the checkbook things used to write orders on. I felt a great deal less awkward doing this at a place that I work as opposed to walking into a random bar on a Friday night to draw. It was an interesting experience. I by no means feel awkward in a bar. I usually have no trouble making conversation with people and would never be one of those people who went to a bar felt out of place and began to draw because they didn’t know what else to do. In fact, I would have rather sat down and socialized with a drink last night after work than draw. I was amazed by how many people noticed me and came up to me to question what I was doing. It’s never the same once people realize you’re drawing them. If they feel your eyes on them they keep glancing back at you in a sort of way that almost says, “you have no right to draw me”. Anyway they would be interesting pinned up in piles on the wall or even lying flat for people to rifle through. Drawing people who are continuously moving really is the epitome of capturing a moment in time!

STUCK: Formal vs. Conceptual

The past two years I’ve been in my own little art world working in a small corner of my room and I haven’t had to confront issues with my work head on. Ideas such as time, memory, history, and loss are the driving forces behind my work, however, I’m not sure if they necessarily show through. There are definitely better techniques to push my thoughts further; adding gesso over the charcoal automatically separates the viewer from the drawing. However, I’ve avoided these processes because I felt like they were an obvious solution and I wanted to challenge myself. However, I haven’t attempted to really resolve the obvious imagery in my work. I’ve drawn even more detailed drawings recently because the process lets me zone out, sometimes pouring my heart out on the page. So my biggest problem now is deciding what is more important to me, pushing my love of drawing or pushing these ideas in my work, or figuring out how I can do both.

 The nature of time irks me on a daily basis. There is a sort of aching longing that occurs when grasping at something that was once tangible reality that has transformed into an intangible memory. I thought I was conveying this by allowing my drawings to fade into the paper, but it could easily be something that only makes sense to me, I just haven’t been in a critic in two years to find out if it makes sense to others. I want to push my old work while elevating these ideas in my new work.

In an art world that’s all about the ideas behind the art I’ve found myself wondering how my love of charcoal fits into that. Bottom line is I love to draw; no matter what I'm going through in life it's the thing that makes sense, makes everything make sense. Sometimes I just love a painting because of a mark of paint in it. I know that can be an idea in itself but how can we appreciate art in the way it used to traditionally be viewed while still being challenged by it's deeper meaning. I guess the point I’m trying to make is that art programs still require basic skill classes. If art is about the idea what is the purpose of these classes? Is it just to teach artists the skills needed to voice ideas? Sometimes I love walking through a figure drawing class simply to see how students look and see the figure and how it’s energy jumps off the page.

So that being said here’s what’s been going on in my studio. I finally got a long day in yesterday. The one drawing that’s sort of less representational is an old drawing I covered in gesso and went back into. I hated working on it but I can’t deny that it’s the most interesting drawing hanging up in my studio right now. Hopefully I'll get at least six hours in today... off to my studio I go! 

So this reallyyy old drawing (that is completely off I realized this after looking at the photograph) became.. 

this.. 

                                     

and this became...

this..

I think I'm definitely going to cut that bottom off or resolve it better. I love chess imagery but I feel like people dismiss it because it's too "Alice in Wonderland" (which I loveee). I see it more as Victorian imagery which makes sense since it's what Alice in Wonderland comments on. I love the idea of these open expanses such as the gardens of Palace of Versailles. They were areas for people to walk, reflect but spaces that became sort of surreal; like these erie dream like expanses that can become creepy when left alone. 

Beginnings of new drawings they're pretty large and I'll probably use charcoal washes in them. 

Couldn't help adding this. First candy corn of the season! I LOVE fall! 

My Studio & Work in Process!

Today I found out I’m still allowed to use charcoal. I haven’t felt closure with the current series I’ve been working on; each drawing yields subtle changes I want to continue to explore. I have three drawings I want to finish before I completely move on but my meeting today helped me feel okay about working on other things at the same time. I’m going to try some new stuff and continue to work on charcoal. I may pick up gesso and ink again. I spent two hours cleaning up my studio and finally feel like it’s coming together. Going through old materials and work was so inspiring. I haven’t touched anything but charcoal in so long because I’ve been working in a tiny corner of my room and haven’t had space to lie out my art supplies!

I’ve been so overwhelmed with all these new things and people and have been so insane getting settled in (I feel like I haven’t slept in weeks and have continuously forgotten to eat all day…which makes me feel even more insane); I haven’t had a chance to be excited and I am sooo excited. 

Anyways here are some photos! 

Here's a smaller drawing I started. I may leave a lot of it as it is. I really liked the way the last drawing I made Bridge of Sighs came together and want to see where those breakthroughs lead in this drawing!

I drew this out almost a year ago. There are so many beautiful light shifts in the photograph and it is also my first interior! I can't wait to see how it comes together! 

I started this drawing almost a year ago as well. I was anxious to get another large charcoal drawing done and thought this wouldn't take that long. Anyways, I stopped working on it multiple times to work on other drawings and I think it's interesting to see the mixture of the small changes that have happened (because of other drawings I worked on) all in one drawing. 

So those are the three large drawings I want to keep just charcoal. I feel like this series will feel really resolved when they are complete. 

I hung up some old drawings that I found as well (see if you can spot them in the pictures of my studio!). I may go over some of them with gesso and go back into them with charcoal, or add things to them. Sooo here are the pictures! 

^Some of the photos I'm thinking of working from! I had some transparencies with photos and drawings on them and liked how some of them looked layered! 

High School Art

I found this old drawing that I did in high school when I was 16 (wow 8 year ago CRAZY). The project was just using 2-point perspective and texture from an ink pen but we were allowed to choose any type of building. I think it’s so fascinating that even back then I was drawn to this old architecture. I also found this watercolor painting that I went back into with ink that I did right after high school before I left for college. 

Here is the 2-point perspective drawing. If I remember right I was really inspired by FDR's house in Hyde Park. I think I went on a school field trip there!

                                      

I'm pretty sure I made this painting from a picture I took in Brussels. I actually really like the ink over watercolor technique and the touch of color!